I confess a reluctance to process the matter
Indigestion results from chewing bad food
verbiage might help empty these thoughts;
I see myself of many years ago:
I could not have imagined a better ally then,
Confidences and the worries of a young child
she made me her everything
and herself everything to me
soothed the frightful afterimages of bullies
and arranged for my incipient naiveté
children believe those they trust
told of enemies in sight
how my father Fent contrived to hurt
an unstable queen with her brood
now I have grown and cast off the trappings of juvenility
and she still yearns for simplicity; those years of shared time with son
conspiring against a father who knew only his family was distant
(know father I have grown and have always loved you)
she has fallen into a vast and simple nostalgia:
one who arranges for dependence upon a simple child
–the child is now grown, with vision in both eyes
such a desperate one
finds satisfaction only in harsh gestures
beating at the riverbed till the water becomes cloudy
must she obstruct her own clarity
though infinite peace beckons
trials should force one to become strong
how mighty the human soul!
how strange and brutal the need to suffer!
it is her wont
and I find it easier to stay true and cultivate new plants
Not lashed to the masts of a ship blowing towards self destruction
I hope she alters course
but I, with my wife Kal
find a beautiful openness with each other
I stand on two feet, sea-legs strengthened
by salt and grime
Father whole and in my life at this juncture
and how I express thanks to your humanism!


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